Rape Culture is Every Black woman’s Nightmare

Black women live in a society that constantly reminds them that they are not human enough.  For every pain and violence against their bodies, society always finds an excuse of why it happened. We are constantly blamed for being raped, that it is our fault; we asked for it. No one sits and ask themselves how we manage to cope with all of this. Black women have wounds that will never heal because they are told to forgive and endure when they do not even get justice.

Justice to a Black woman is a foreign concept that seems far-fetched. Being a black woman means fighting for your life every day, living in fear of what might happen. Our homes are not safe, in the streets we are not safe. Either you are taught how to escape rape, taught how defend yourself when that time comes. No one tells rapists not to rape! Male privilege shields and protects men beyond our imagination. If a man rapes you, there is certainly something wrong with him psychologically, you were drunk or wore a short skirt so you asked for it. Men are never wrong. It is always a woman’s fault.

Rape culture is the normalisation of rape in our society against women, rape culture is violence against a woman’s body. Rape culture is when we say to a child “do not report it, it isan embarrassment to the family”. It is when we question the victim whether they are sure if they got raped or it was just rough sex. Rape culture is not only penetration but the undressing and sexual comments made by males when you pass by them or anywhere, when your boss feels the need to say something about your sexuality or how you dress. Rape culture is victim blaming. Rape culture is when we say to a married women he did not rape you, you are his wife therefore he is entitled to have sex with you. Rape culture is when we ask a victim whether she screamed or not? Rape culture is when we say your NO was not strong enough as if there is a measurement of how a no should be. Rape culture is the sexualisation of a woman’s body by society.

Black women have been silenced about rape, they have been blamed for all the pains that emerge from the rape culture and have been left to pick up their own broken pieces. When a woman has been raped, society tries to get smart about rape, ascribing rape to how she was dressed up, how drunk she was and the people she was with forgetting that at the crux of the matter is rape, lies consent. Women have been made to feel guilty of how they dress up, who they decide to associate themselves with and how they choose to have fun by the very same society that continues to view rape as a normal culture.

Part of the problem that women are faced with is when they voice out their problems and they get to hear people saying “but men get raped too”, that is rape culture because at that moment a person is making rape seem normal. We will continue to feel suffocated by rape as long as we still associate the struggle of fighting against rape to a certain gender, as long as we continue ripping each other apart and not coming together as one to fight this horrible giant called rape.

In our view rape culture can only end if males can stop supporting us only on Facebook or twitter but run their own campaigns that seek to end rape. Rape culture can end the day women would believe another women when she says that she has been raped with a premise that “Guilty until proven innocent”. Rape culture can end when we stop making women feel ashamed for reporting rape because police men are throwing comments as to how the women was dressed up. Rape culture will end when society stops teaching males that a woman’s body is their property to own and a woman is there to satisfy men sexually. Rape culture will stop when society stopping justifying men for their brutality against women bodies. Rape culture will end the day we dismantle patriarchy.

WE ARE FRUSTRATED AND DYING BECAUSE OF RAPE CULTURE…WE ARE SUFFOCATING BECAUSE OF PATRIACHY.

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Following the trending case of Xola and Kamvelihle #WeBelieveYou, Kay-Dee Mashile writes that society must educate young men from as early as preschool on how to treat women. The same way little girls are taught to cover up, little boys must be taught to respect women.

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