There are so many misconceptions about lesbians, especially butches. We are seen to be tough, almost built like men really, but what people tend to forget is that we are women, we cry, feel pain, are scared of spiders and rats, basically, we are women too. From the few conversations I’ve had with women, even Fem lesbians, the assumptions is that you cannot cry as a butch lesbian. I still don’t understand why these labels exist, but when you cry, you are seen as weak, like a cry-baby. We cannot be afraid of anything, that is seen as simply too girly.
It is seen as a taboo to be pregnant, like one has committed a crime, once again people forget that we are women first. Why should I be discriminated against for embracing my ability to add to the 7.5 billion people that exist in the world? “Ha ke fane ka kuku mahala” that means I am not going to sleep with you for free, literally meaning I am dating you because of what I stand to gain. This comes back to heterosexual relationships, where the man is expected to “becha” the woman. Why do women feel entitled to receive money every month? Lesbians are seen as men and expected to behave and act like them. We don’t exist with copious amounts of testosterone, please keep that in mind. If society as a whole could shift their mind-set and have a better understanding of who we are, that we are not defined by the “manly” clothes we wear or the “trimmed haircuts” we have, only then will society see us as women.
Men greet us with “hola,” “heita” or “sho” which is associated with how guys greet each other, however, the straight girl next to us receives a “hello” or “hi.” Again, this illustrates just how “manly” we are expected to be. The world celebrates who we sleep with and not who we are. Lesbians are women, it is that simple!
Photo credit: Lesbian Pride