I am sick and tired of carrying the heavy chains placed upon my neck by earlier generations of men. I am sick of being a victim of society which has labelled me a rapist, murderer, abuser and destroyer because of men not in control of themselves who have lost the plot entirely. Ladies, there are men like me out there, not preoccupied by images in my head about how I am going to pin you down in bed. There are men out there who can give you a compliment without the expectation of receiving your number in return. In the following paragraphs, I want to make it clear that all men cannot be boxed into one, and generally accept being called dogs. I am not a dog, I am a classy gentleman with integrity and respect.
THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE who will respond to your text messages. Men who will initiate conversations because they simply can’t wait to see what you’ll say next. There are men who will never be too busy or too preoccupied to wish you a good morning. Men who remember to call when they say they will – because they want to – and those who surprise you with their curiosity about your seemingly monotonous days. There are men who aim to be the last person you talk to before you sleep, and the first name you see on your screen when you rise. Men who show up on time – or even early – men who are genuinely excited to see you.
There are men who want to go on dates. Real dates. Men who want to take you out to their favourite restaurant and will never expect you to pay, but always appreciate the gesture. There are men who want to talk to you for longer than one drink after work, just to get you upstairs. There are men you don’t need to convince to see you. Men who aren’t purely motivated to be your sexual partner, but just love being around you. There are men who won’t wait three days — or even three hours– to ask you out again. Men who have grown past games and cryptic messages that you don’t have time to decode. There are men who simply, truly just want to get to know you.
There are men who want to hold your hand in public. Men who enjoy walking around department stores shopping for things they can’t afford but love the feeling of your tiny fingers interlaced with their adorably bony knuckles. There are men who love sitting next to you on the downtown train just so they can look at your face, even if they notice the uneven lines and imperfect skin in the terrible lighting, because they can’t imagine another way to spend their Saturday afternoon. Men who wish they could capture the wonder on your face when you see a new part of the city you didn’t know you loved, but now do. Men who want to show you off to the strangers on the street because they find you so incredibly intoxicating. There are men who are happy to be seen by your side, thankful to be someone you choose to roam about town with.
There are men who want to be your boyfriend, who are totally excited to introduce you as their girlfriend to their friends and to their families. There are men out there who are ready for a relationship, who aren’t ripe with excuses about the timing or the situation, that the feeling or the possibility just isn’t right. Men who don’t blame yesterday on their immature inability to develop something today and imagine tomorrow. There are men who wouldn’t pass on the chance to be yours because they know how amazing – how special – how superbly wonderful you are, and that they’re lucky you want to be with them, and only them. There are men who don’t hesitate on title changes or commitment. Men who want to grow with you and learn with you, love you the best way they can, be with you as long as you allow them to. Men who don’t reply “thank you” when you say those precious three words.
There are even men who say that incomparable phrase first, not second. There are men who are proud of your successes, not intimidated by them. Men who are amazed by your determination and passion, who see the things inside of you that you can’t notice yet, or decide to ignore. There are men who believe in your future as much as they believe in the world you can create together. Men who want to witness your bad times and your good, be there when you fail and celebrate when you find that sense of belonging that we all look for, but never quite understand what it means until we stumble across it.
There are men who know when to buy yellow tulips and kiss your forehead when you’ve had a rough day, men who remember you don’t ever take advice in the worst of situations, but you’ll want to hear it in the morning. Men who remind you of all the things to come and promise to be there when you get to the top of that mountain you’re climbing.
There are men who listen. Men who linger on each and every word you say because they know they will never know too much about you, and are intrigued to always learn more, regardless of how long they’ve known you. There are men who have the ability to put your needs before their own, who remember the first time they noticed something different about you. Men who like the way you look right after a long shower or a night run, when you’re dressed to go out and when you’re in your sweats from college. Men who see your insecurities but find them only a small part of what makes you beautiful. There are men who will remember your birthday, the day you met, the moment they knew they loved you and when you made them want to be a better person. There are men who love your thoughtful heart as much as they’re turned on by your soft body. Men who know how hard you like it, what part of your neck gets you going and that sometimes, you really just need to be spooned until you fall asleep. There are men who will accept you for whatever you are, whoever you are, whenever you decide to be that person in that place. Men who will stand by you and fight for you because they know you’re worth it. Because they know you’d do the same for them.
There are men who truly, honestly, completely will love you. There are SO MANY men out there. But you’ll never meet them if you don’t LET GO of the guys you really don’t want, in order to find men you really deserve. The men who are waiting to meet someone just like You.