By Jennifer Mdluli

It really is a timely irony to reflect on the lived experience I have with the title of this article because I truly struggled to put the words together when I was writing it. I tend to overthink even the simplest things and I have realized that my decision-making has been impacted overthinking overclouds my judgment and I come to possible solutions to a problem and the worst part about it is that it, it affects your emotions as well, I have realized that as people we overthink more than half of the things we engage in daily and that that complicates decision-making processes and how to find balance.

Overthinking locks us in a cycle of worry. As humans, we must learn to focus on the cognitive patterns that make it difficult to see the world in an enlightened sense. From leaping to conclusions, discarding yourself before even giving it a shot, and before anybody else can assist you. Struggling to participate in situations where you are unsure about the result. Insomnia may occur from your thoughts lingering late into the night. Fear and concern are ubiquitous. I needed to break it down so that I could effectively address the concerns of overthinking and its effects on our daily lives, particularly as young people.

What Actually Happens When You Over-Think

When you overthink, you worry and ruminate about conversations and actions for far longer than is necessary. It is appropriate to exercise caution while making major judgments, but overthinking can occur even when making minor, otherwise meaningless choices. You may want to speak with someone who you believe has offended you, but as soon as the thought enters your mind, you can’t help but imagine how the situation could spin out of control. What if you stroll over and embarrass yourself?

What if they are not apologetic and tell everyone how much they despise you? This is exceedingly unlikely, but your brain convinces you it was the outcome of a harmless act. You begin to worry about these terribly negative outcomes, leaving little room in your mind for any possible positive consequences.

This happens to the majority of us; we'd rather remain mute than ruin a good moment with useless feelings.

Because you subconsciously predict bad outcomes over good ones every time, overthinking encourages you to be more pessimistic. When you worry about what will happen if you say this or do that, you come up with only negative answers to the question. You also think about potential good outcomes, but they seem much less likely than the bad ones. The balance is completely reversed; your mind leaps right to the worst-case scenario, but this is rarely the most likely outcome. It is more common to achieve a good or at least natural outcome than it is to have your attempt to leave your comfort zone end in catastrophic failure, but your mind prioritises the bad over the good.

Having irrational expectations is extremely common

It is easy to be fearful of the future when you believe that unpleasant outcomes are far more common than happy ones. Overthinking only encourages the unreasonable results your mind generates and discards the more rational expectations you should have for yourself. Personally, I go through this virtually every day. When your thoughts are continually telling you how horrible things may get, it’s difficult not to perceive every uncertain outcome as a potential bomb just waiting for you to cut the wrong wire.

Irrational expectations might also be directed toward oneself. You want to avoid making mistakes because you’re afraid of the consequences, so you tell yourself that you need always to act precisely. Which, for the most part, is a prescription for disaster; nobody is perfect. It is critical to remember that even minor mistakes can have disastrous consequences in your mind. However, no one can truly be flawless. When you put unrealistic expectations on yourself, even tiny setbacks feel catastrophic. You are harsher on yourself than you would be if you understood that everyone makes mistakes, and these mistakes rarely result in the disastrous repercussions you fear.

Getting Anxiety Over Unknown Variables

It is natural to be apprehensive about the unknown, but overthinking takes this caution to a new level. If you can’t be positive about an outcome even after thinking about it for minutes or hours, unknown variables become considerably more worrisome. This can lead to avoiding new experiences and rejecting new opportunities because you are terrified of failing.

Insomnia From Circling Thoughts

It is difficult to go to sleep when you are preoccupied with your anxieties for the next day or are constantly analysing a previous interaction. It is possible to divert oneself from worrisome thoughts during the day, but at night, when there are no distractions, these ideas return. You can lie awake in bed for hours, replaying something that happened earlier that day or perhaps many years ago. The longer your thoughts keep you up, the later you fall asleep, disrupting your sleep cycle. Insomnia can cause continual fatigue and exhaustion as your brain strains to function with a lack of sleep and an unpredictable sleeping schedule.

I have created a bad habit of watching videos on my phone so I can focus on a completely different thing and they would ooze me to sleep.

Consider someone who is terrified to speak on the phone. They avoid making phone calls whenever possible, so they never gain expertise with them. They believe that chatting on the phone always causes worry and discomfort, and they lack any positive experiences to counteract their fears. They feed their fear and remain trapped in a never-ending cycle of worry.

Simple thing as calling someone first, I am scared of not getting the response I have played over and over in my head, so I end up not making communication. Trust me I get jumpy and anxious when my phone rings, so imagine saying hello from the other end.

You understand why overthinking is bad and why you engage in it, but how can you stop? When your thoughts are racing, the first step is to get them under control. Find strategies to bring your thoughts to a halt, at which time you may assess if they are useful, true thoughts, or simply the result of negative thinking.

Mental exercises can help you overcome negative thought habits and refocus your thoughts. When you give yourself space to breathe, you prevent yourself from being engrossed in your spinning thoughts. A calmer perspective allows you to take a more rational view of the problem and overthink it.

Remember to take it one step at a time!

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About the author:

Jennifer Mdluli is a passionate radio broadcaster, gymnastics coach and facilitator dedicated to youth and community development. A member of the writer’s hub, a 2019 Activator and inspires positive change through creativity and engagement.